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As I reflect on my roots and the unmistakable close bond I had with my Mom, every single family member will echo the same statement;
"You were your mom's baby boy. She adored everything that you accomplished and beyond."
There was an ongoing joke within our family for a
long period of time.
I would be away on the highway usually a
month at a time, driving truck.
The joke; someone would open the fridge and
comment "OH, Ryan must be coming back."
When I was due back from my month away, the fridge would be stocked more full than normal, and mom would ensure there was always extra stuff in the cupboards.
Mom loved to go shopping.
My sister and I grew up at The Bayshore Mall.
On one trip to Ottawa I put on Guns and Roses Use Your Illusions 1.
We had a Geo Tracker at the time.
"I don't like this crap" she said, pushed eject and tossed the cassette tape out the open roof of the vehicle.
I could only laugh.
I could write many similar stories about her dislike of some of my music taste, but one thing stayed true; everyone in the house always appreciated The Tragically Hip.
Over the years of going to events my sister and I would watch my parents "Doing Laps".
They would dance big circles around the outside of the dance floor to all of the faster songs. My sister and I would count how many times they would pass around, usually 5 or 6 full circles of the dance floor for each song.
I would love the opportunity to count the laps of their dancing in each other's arms just one more time....
When Covid happened, to pass the time, I would do live streams on Facebook from my basement.
I was learning as I went, improving all the time, but one thing I remember was Mom saying"You need to fix 'A-B-C'."
I would focus on those suggestions until the next live stream, and I would try each one again.
My biggest critic was my biggest supporter.❤
I finally reached solid audio quality and heard "You did really good on that show".
Mom wished she could tune in longer during these streams, but as she not only struggled with the effects of Covid as we all were, she was also battling Cancer as well.
Her opinions mattered more to me than words can describe.
Not just for my music growth, but for my personal, life-long growth too.
Christmas 2018, Mom asked me what I would like for a present.
When my response to her was "A guitar that I can plug into an amplifier," for some reason she wasn't as excited as I was. 🤷♀️
Remember, she loved to go shopping.
Walk around the malls, and, I do mean mallS, because WE would walk them all as kids, and all on the same day.
Lunch was usually A&W at the food court. I remember I always ordered a Papa burger and "Crispy" onion rings.
So I suggested that she goes shopping, pick out all the shirts and items she thinks I would like, and write down the total value.
Then, put whatever that total value was onto a gift card for Long and McQuade.
Christmas day 2018 came, we arrived at the farm for gift exchange and a "Big Feed".
The biggest box at the tree was addressed to me, a few other things were given, yes the much needed underwear and socks included.
I wasn't allowed to touch the Big Box until the last. It almost looked like it could hold a guitar inside the box itself.
Once into the box I had to dig, and dig, and dig more.
Taped to the bottom
was a small 3x5 box
in a silver tin, the
orange and black LM
on the top.
The rush of excitement and the tears of pure joy began.
I opened the tin, there was the card. I lifted up the card, there was no value written anywhere. I lifted the foam holder, no receipt?
" How big can I dream" I said.
My Mom looked at me and said "I guess you'll have to wait to find out" followed by belly laughter at my frustrations.
Waiting for the next time after the holiday period for Long & McQuade to open seemed to take forever!
I purchased a Martin D-RS1 which I will hold onto forever, I play that guitar every day and every single gig.
Drift Away.Covered by Ryan O'Neill
00:00 / 03:51
The hardest experience of my life was losing my Mom to Cancer, November 2022.
During the funeral planning we put all the pictures together, and were asked what songs should be played behind the on screen pictures as the tribute.
We decided on a number of songs, but one stood out above the rest. Mom enjoyed upbeat classic rock and the sing along favourites.
I can still hear her singing:
"Give me the beat boys free my soul I wanna get lost in your Rock and Roll." - Drift Away
When Drift Away was chosen at the funeral as part of the tribute. I promised myself that every time I'm playing I will honour my Mom playing that song.
When I play that song, there is always a rush of emotions, goosebumps, chills, pride.
The most amazing part of these performances is that I never experience them in the same place of the song, ever.
Once I get through Drift Away and have choked
back the tears, I will say "Love you Mom" while
touching my heart and kissing my hand towards the
sky and heaven.
I miss my longest and closest friend. I miss going to the Bayshore A&W to get "crispy onion rings".
I miss our good talks and gossip.
...I miss my Mom.
The Wreck of E.F.Covered by Ryan O'Neill
00:00 / 05:05
Some words that can easily describe my Dad;
Charismatic, humble, generous, spiritual, classy, simple. Gentleman.
Growing up Dad was always "busy" doing something, full time job, farming, auctions, and later on Real Estate.
If the man wasn't "busy" he wasn't happy.
This trait of always having to be busy and involved is something that I definitely admire.
I remember one of his many words of wisdom " If you want someone to help you ask a person who is busy"
Let me tell you "Help" he did.
From the multiple people he and my mom drove to school through their bus company, to families having Auction Sales to the first time home buyers.
Dad was patient and understanding with each one of them. It is one of the traits that I try to mirror as I go through life.
"Treat people the way you would want to be treated."
Dad is still healthy and happy, that's all any of us need to be in life. He makes time for others no matter how busy he is.
There is time to be "An Uber" every school day. There is time for fundraising events and volunteer work, on top of continuing Real Estate and farming. How does he do it all? Another Johnism: "Everything has to have a flow."
Yes, as busy as he is I am blessed and thankful when Dad walks into "Every Pub" that I am playing.
I watch from the front as most of the bar is singing along with me and there is Dad, singing along as well but with this amazing little smile that gives me warmth, knowing that he is proud of what I am doing.
It is a true honour to have him always supporting me, always "Helping".
Help comes in many various forms, and some are as simple as the suggestion of: " You should try Gordon Lightfoot".
So I tried The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, right then and there.
When I finished the song he was standing clapping with a smile that stretched from one side of the pub to the other.
"That song was made for you."
Another song has taken on a life of its own - especially after it becoming a duet, is Wagon Wheel.
We celebrated Dad's 75th milestone birthday in May.
It was a great experience for everyone.
It was especially important for me when I started to play Wagon Wheel and Dad joined me in the chorus with our friends and family singing along. Great memory for sure.
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Our Wagon Wheel Duet show doesn't stop at one, we apparently took our show on the road, unplanned.
A few weeks after the birthday I set up an extra microphone with expectations and hope of Dad joining me.
One of my most favourite in pub memories, Dad singing with me on the microphone, along with 30 people in the pub joining us on the chorus parts.
The harmony the emotions of happiness and pride just kept growing throughout the song.
When we reached the end all I could do was grab onto that man and give him a bear hug full of happiness. A permanent, lifetime memory made.....
I look up to my Dad, I follow his ideas of always trying to give back to charities and fundraisers.
It's important to both of us, and to be able to share our talents to help others, certainly feels good deep inside.
I dare to say almost weekly, I bump into someone saying, "Oh I saw your Dad at..."
or, "Well your Dad was certainly having a good time dancing on the table for 17th of March"
Those are always fun to hear about, but the conversations that go further about his character;
" Your Dad is just so nice, we had a great chat" or
"Your Dad is fantastic, always smiling, and such a good man."
Those conversations always fill me full of pride and happiness.
I have always looked up to my Dad, and I want to follow his same simple way of life; be a good person and treat others the way you would want to be treated.
I can summarize my goal of being a good person with the exact line I always tell people when they are speaking of my Dad
"If I could even be a quarter as good of the man that he is I'll be doing alright."
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